“Enough is enough!”

The exact day, I don’t recall. The exact moment escapes my thoughts but I do remember there was one. There was a moment when I took charge. I took control. I said, “enough is enough.”

How many times a day did I think about it? How many times did I wonder how I would feel without the excess weight? How many excuses did I give for not starting when I wanted to? How many excuses did I give for giving up before I really tried?  The answer is countless times. Over the years, it has consumed many of my thoughts. It has dictated so many decisions. It shaped who I was and I was not the woman I saw in the mirror. I was much more than what people saw.

I’ve struggled all my life with my issues with self-esteem and poor body image.  I’ve been teased and taunted as a child. I was called many names and still remember most of them. They brought me to tears several times. Over the years I tried so many different methods to lose the weight, I would have some success but never kept it off or lost all that I wanted.  There was always a point where I went back to my old habits and would quickly gain the weight back and then some.

I was eating excessively after I gave birth to my son. I had gained so much excess weight with the pregnancy that I got depressed. I only had extra large maternity clothes that fit me. My shoes were so tight that I could only wear sandals.  I avoided every mirror in the house. My body felt so foreign to me. I wanted to show off my son to the world but I hated leaving the house. I became anti-social and withdrawn. I turned to food for comfort as I always did in the past. Happy or sad I ate. A typical day meant I was daydreaming about what I would eat. I ate until I was uncomfortably full. I remember the pain and thinking, “why do I keep stuffing myself when I know I don’t need to eat anymore.” I love sweets so no matter how full I was with dinner I always found room for dessert. I started to hide food and candy in the house and in my car. I would go through a drive thru to get a sweet ice-cream treat and eat it in the car. If that didn’t satisfy me I would drive through another so they wouldn’t recognize me. I had a hot fudge turtle sundae every Sunday all through my pregnancy and justified it by saying…Sundae’s on Sunday! When I finally looked up the content that sundae was made of I nearly fell off my chair. The sundae I couldn’t go one week without was 1156 calories, 71 grams of fat, 33 grams of saturated fat, 93 grams of sugar, 115 grams of carbohydrates! I remember having two in one day I was so addicted to the taste. Family parties were so hard. I would spend hours trying to find something to wear and I never felt pretty or happy with my clothes. We would run late because I took forever getting ready. It was embarrassing showing up late. I would sit close to the food table and sneak items when I knew people weren’t looking. I always wanted the left overs. I was out of control and something needed to change for my well being and for my family. I focused my energy into positive changes and applied all that I share here with you. I hope you get to the point where you say, “enough is enough,” because when you do you will change your life forever!